really?!

yes really! you get what you put into it... and i put my everything into play. no words can express how i feel. today is the 24th of January, 2012. I'm really excited for what this year has to offer. out with the old, in with the new. something refreshing to look forward too. my job still sucks but it's a payable chore.  loving my life with Brandon and the boys! our lives are in happy standing. well i think so at least. i question myself and the surroundings from time to time, but in all reality i wouldnt have it any other way. i shouldn't even second guess myself. i know what i want and im living that dream. i have a future husband that loves and cares for me and his children with unconditional love. he supports me in all my decisions. He provides for us like no other. He is a great father, and will be to our children as well. His intelligence is beyond comprehension.  sometimes i feel as if he is way over my head but i totally grasp what is intended ...with some explantion sometimes of course.  In due time we might be having a big surprise coming our way shortly and it  will be a life changing experience in the long run. im excited, scared, and truly blessed if all goes well. im very grateful to add that today is day 24 on my no drinking stance. i enjoy drinking, but its a serious problem for me and those loved ones around me. i mean, in short no one means for things to get out of hand, but sometimes they do. And i love and care so much to want to change and be a better person. moderation is the key. but ive never  had that key in hand. ive never fully known it. cared about it. or had someone care that much for me. and for this i am thankful. slowly but surely, life of soberity, im coming for ya. so be ready. did i mention i work in an igloo?! well i do.i mean its 54 degrees outside, thats all fine and dandy beacuse i work on the inside but its 68 in here! WTF?! i mean if i get sick, this igloo is to blame. and i hate pointing fingers but in this case i dont mind so much. saving the company money all the way around, in tempature cost and in employee pay if i dont show because im hella sick because i work in an igloo. or is it because my boss is going through menopause- sigh-  oh well im just complaining because i dont ever complain and  you dont care if i do. i hate to hate, and love to love!